silver lining?

Had an appointment with the physiotherapist this afternoon. I have Bell's palsy. I am shaken.

The only thing happening now is me continuing with the use of the elastics to close down the ever-slowly moving bite. My ortho had said that the de-bracing might happen early next year. She didn't give an exact date though...next year is next month (time really flies). The next appointment with her will only be in the middle of next month. She commented that the bite is really closing much better.
On the other hand, I finally had her refer me to a physiotherapist for this quasi(quasi?) paralysed left side of my face. The paralysis doesn't show unless I do some movement that will show that the size of closure of the left eye doesn't correspond with the right. For example, if I raise my eyebrows, the right would go up, while the left wouldn't..as high..making me have this sceptical look, you know? ANd the left cheek still twitch up along with theleft. If i purse my lips, say drinking a straw, the left eye would close slightly too. I'm not sure what the physiotherapist would do with this condition, but i hope he/she can offer some explanations.
Sensation is still at a minimum on the lower left lip as well as the lower left chin. I'd be having a drink or meal and i'd be constantly on guard to feel whether something is going down my chin and wiping it off. Hmm... so, a tissue or wipe is always in hand.
It has been 31 weeks since the surgery. Nearly 8 months.

crreeaaakkk...

Was eating Assam Laksa just now at Old Town, was chewing the white noodle..the noodle weren't that stringy/ chewy.. but I felt and heart this snap from my lower right jaw and a sudden but slight pain was felt. I suspect the bracket of the molar has snapped open. I can feel some discomfort on that area whenever I bit down. Didn't finish my assan laksa then.. but the french toast ordered was heaven... so i slowly chewed the bread using the right side of the jaw..
sigh..
my next visit to the ortho is on the 19th... i think i'll call them tomorrow to ask whether I can go earlier..before my gums suffer more.

points to ponder

I ran into a former colleague a few weeks ago. I haven't met her for a quite some time..eversince she stopped working- to take care of her two children. So, suffice to say she wasn't around when I first started my braces treatment and certainly wasn't around to see the slow changes that were happening to me and my mug. Anyways...we chit-chatted for a while when the inevitable questions popped out. When I told her that I had had a jaw surgery, she looked surprised, saying that she never noticed that there was anything wrong with my teeth.. however, when I said that I went through the surgery to correct my bite, she mimed this look of over-extending her lower jaw and... i just ho-hmm-ed my confirmation. She DID remember how I looked but just didn't think the condition needed any correction.
There was another thing she said that sort of got me thinking about what aesthetics mean to some people. I had talked briefly about the surgery, some of the effects... and I had started saying something like..."I went through the surgery...All in the name of..." I was going to say..All in the name of beauty or something about a good smile/ bite...etc. She finished off my sentence with.."vanity". I was about to correct her when something held me back.
It was most certainly not vanity. I realised it was quite fruitless expaining to her why I did it. :)... so, I turned the conversation somewhere else and that was that.
Vanity... desire for admiration because of one's personal attainments or attractions. Nope. Definitely not that.

25th week

6 month and 1 week.
still wearing elastics to help with the closing of the bite especially on the right side, near the canine region.
left side of my chin is still a bit numb.
closing my left eye...will somewhat be mistaken with a weak attempt at a weak winking gesture.
opening of jaw : 380mm..

view of teeth...as of end of august..

23rd week

One week shy of 6 months since the surgery. As forewarned, things have really been moving at a slow pace. I noticed that if i want to close both my eyes, it's a conscious effort to do so, especially closing my left eye. When I do so, the left side of my cheek would also rise upward, as if to help the eye with the close.
Sensation hasn't really come back 100% on the left side of my chin. There are some, not much. That goes the same for the gums on the same quadrant.
I dreamt last night my braces were off!!.. but the teeth were coming apart. Whatever does that mean.. Old folks belief would say..i'm in for some good luck. :)
Oh, my bite opens up to about 370mm. A few more mm's to go...

Slow poke

Had another appointment today at noon. Nothing much to report. Doc gave me a new packet for the front box elastics. Asked for a tighter fit. hopefully it will help with the closing of the overbite. I may not be able to go for the joint-clinic on the 8th since i'd still be at Miri. Sadly that means i'll only have another joint-clinic next year. Doc says Dr. Normah will be going away for her haj. sigh.

4th month

So, it's been 4 months! 16th weeks today. I didn't write anything down last week due to hecticness( is there such a word?) and urm..there was nothing much to report.

I am getting a bit more sensation on my lower left chin though. It feels more ticklish when touched now. Not that much, just some. And sometimes I get this sharp pain when I exagerrate some mouth movement or when I pinch my lower left lip. Pain which is otherwise not felt on the lower right lip. Wonder why..

My bite is ever so slowly closing in. The right side of my bite is still a few mm open. It doesn't seem to want to close!

Reading through other people's blog gave me a better way of exercising the jaws. So, I've been forcing my jaw to open up as wide as I can and holding the position for up to a minute or so. I would pry them open using both hands. I tell you.. sometimes I feel like I'm unhinging the jaws by doing this exercise. lol.. And so, up to last night, i'm 34mm wide. sigh..

My left eye is still not closing properly. I do hope the nerves are getting better.

On a brighter note, I've gotten back my left cheek. A plus sign on this 16th week in recovery. I've also been slowly eating more chewable food like vegetables, chicken bits. I feel happy to be able to bite off food with my front teeth as i've never ever been able to do that. It's almost bliss.

14th week

I'm still wearing the elastics. 4 all in all everyday. The nurse gave me to packets last month and they're still aplenty. I would take the two front off and try to keep them in a place easily remembered but somehow they have wings or legs of their own and I wouldn't be able to find them. My memory seems a bit off..
The teeth on the upper right seem to move ever so slowly. They don't look like their getting closer to close the bite.
The discomfort I felt (which came from the back end upper right molar) isn't as pronounced as it was last week when i was lax in wearing the elastics.
I also seem to have gotten some of my left cheek back. However, my the contour of my face seem to be 'lumpy' for some reason. My cheeks and jawline. sigh.. not the smooth (though mishappen) contour i had pre-surgery.
I'm somewhere in the 55-55.5kg weightage. More food, less workout. Need to resume some kind of workout.. can't go swimming.. with the flu scare going.. invisible threats are everywhere.
My left eye is nowhere near normalcy. Is it a big price to pay for having a good bite?

13th week

i skipped wearing some of the elastics for 3 days and suffered..the upper right back tooth is giving me some discomfort. (i am only guessing that's the cause)..
Other than that, my chin on the right is still generally numb. I have also gained some more weight. Hmm... must be the rice i'm starting to consume back.
My left eye-lid is still not closing properly. Sigh...

3 months

Today marks the 12th week/ 3rd month post op.
Can't believe it has been 3 months. I'm still adjusting to this new jaw position. I was carefully chewing this potato chip just now and still managed to bite the inside of my left cheek. Ouch.
I'm able to eat more now and that's the reason why I am gaining some kg's now.
If I really stretch, i'm able to open up to 320mm(my mouth that is).
Still some way to go for my eyes to recover.

11th week plus 2 days

one more week and it'll be 3 months post op.

Went for a body massage today. when the masseus massaged my left temple, i felt this ..this pain.. that i didn't feel on the right temple. she said it's my nerve, the injured one.. which was making my left eyelid lazy. she eased her fingers on the area around the temple and felt this sensation that left me feeling a bit breathless. it was painful no doubt.

she said to keep on with massage treatment slowly for a few times to help with the lazy lid.



by the by..

i can open up as high as 30mm now.

i am still conscious of the assymetry of the size of my eyes when i laugh.

lower left gum is still somewhat numb.

the lower left lip is still somewhat numb.

i can feel the jut of the plate more.

i still weigh between 53-54kg.

10th week

Wow...10th week today. What extra thing i have noticed that i haven't put to writing? I have noticed... that whenever I eat something cold, there's this spot on the left side of my face that feels as if I have a 'cold' nerve touched. It's as if I took an ice cube and left it there two seconds or so. The same sensation goes when I eat something hot. I feel as if something is left on high heat for a while.
I think... that's because that's the only spot where my nerve is alive. The insides of my cheeks are still a bit numb.
There is a bit of sensation on my chin. Very slight. Like a feather brushing softly on the chin(even though I am scraping my chin with my nails). Still a sensation, eh?

More hooks

My ortho told me today that the metal thingy we noticed in the x-ray taken most recently was ligature left during surgery. It's non-dangerous.. so i think it can be left just there.

4 more kobayashi hooks for me to help in closing the bite. She was quite pleased with the progress of my mouth opening. 3cm at the maximum.. at a tolerable state of uncomfortableness...and 2.5cm-2.8cm at rest.
Now i'm supposed to put on the elastics all day though that's not technically possible. I do have to open my mouth to talk to my students and having the two elastics on each sides was already an eye-turner. :)

9th week

i'm still working on the jaw exercise. After some warm-ups, i can manage a 280mm opening. Gosh.. I wonder what's the maximum opening a jaw can make?

Left eye still unable to close properly.
Chin is still numb.
Lower left lip is still numb.
Still cannot chew properly. My teeth are still not aligned well. Instead of chewing the food, I chew the insides of my cheeks sometimes.

The better to bite you with...

suddenly i feel like i am all teeth... as if my teeth are too big for my mouth...

Jawbreaker

The doc said the other day, you have to exercise your jaw aa.. if not it will get jammed.
Jadi...lapas baca blog2 lain, di antaranya yang sia kasi link di blog sia ni, ada doktor yang rekemen sampai 5 kali satu hari mau exercise rahang. Minggu lapas sya dapat buka sekitar 1 jari stenga luas ja. menjelang minggu ke-8, dapat buka 2 jari luar.. kira-kira 2 cm. Sakit oo mau exercise rahang ni. Mau paksa buka rahang, let it stay open as wide as i could, pastu move the lower jaw left to right. Bila mau tutup itu rahang, ada bunyi mcm engsel pintu yang teda gris di engsel rahang kepala sya, bunyi yang only me can hear. And sya paksa diri buat for 10-20 times. Tu pun sya tidak tau is the right number of repetition or not.
So, kamarin, i took the measuring stick, the ruler la.. and measured the bukaan mulut. 2.5cm. adala kemajuan sikit. Tidak pun terlintas dulu yang kebolehan bukaan mulut ni membantu dalam penyuapan makanan. Betul... susa mau makan kalau sudu pun susa mau masuk mulut.
Otak pun penat ja sekarang..

8th week

8th week anniversary today. I had quite a feast last night with a group of old friends. I quite miss steaks (beef or lamb). I had some marinara soup and spaghetti. I nibbled some of Flavian's Caesar Salad and found them really tasty. Spent some minutes carefully chewing the ice lettuce and shredded turkey ham. Rosalind's bruscetta was good to eat also. sigh...

drab...

Had an appointment with my ortho yesterday. Brought along the opg (x-ray) that she asked me to get during the last appointment. I had noticed the metal-like thingy which was located just above my upper eighth and mentioned it to her. She poked her finger trying to see if she could trace any outline of the ligature-like wire which was so obvious on screen but not so in tactile. There was a spot just above the gum which felt tender when Dr. Fatimah touched it. She later decided that she'll ask Dr.Normah to check on it. Aiya...most probably i'll be sliced open again...
Anyway.. Dr. Fatimah asked me keep on with the elastics. Ok.

I have gained about 1.5kg since the last time i weighed myself. I've begun eating rice with lots of kuah. No green leaves for me yet. The last time i ate spinach and had no time to rinse and brush my teeth, i had the cumbersome ordeal of poking the leaves out of the way with my tongue and finger, while driving.(long story.. had to immediately be off to another place after the meal). I ate some Beef curry and potatos last night. The beef was very tender so chewing was not really a problem. Umm... fried (yellow) noodles is also in the menu too. However, i am not able to bite into crunchy stuff..yet. But the other day... gosh, i finally was able to bite into a peanut butter sandwich and bit off the part where I bit into. Does that make sense to you? I have never been able to do that. Quite a novel experience.

I went to Consfood the other day and bought a packet of pudding powder. So, when i got home, i made enough puddings to last me for a few days. :) I also make bubur ubi every week or so. Soft sweet potato is nice to eat, hey!

My chin is still numb but the sharp poking sensation seems to happen more often than usual which actually isn't all the time. My face looks almost symetrical now. Allmooostt.. This morning I could rinse the cleanser off my face without stinging my left eye. Which means, my left eye is strong just enough to close. I still have trouble blinking though.

7th week

It has been 7 weeks today since the big O. I've let myself get so hungry that I (drat!!) managed to get a migraine. I guess that would be one of the reasons for getting a migraine..

Improvement

Went to see my ortho today. After another week of elastics, the distance of the open bite has gotten smaller by 0.5mm(only?). Since i mentioned to her that the elastics don't feel as tight as the first few days i wore them, she gave me another packet of elastics which had elastics smaller than the ones i previously used. Which means, the tension will be tighter. Ok..
I opened my mouth as big as i could for her to trim the cusp of the 8th tooth. After trimming, closing the bite was a bit better.

at 5th week

at 6th week..

tita! gap is closer no? notice the elastics wound around the 4 front teeth (the kobayashi hooks).

6th week

urm.. 6th week was yesterday.
Not much to report. i've had to put on one more elastic band on the front part every night apart from the two (one on the left and one on the right) which are put on almost 24 hours a day 'cept when i need to eat.
Still on soft diet. Ate maggi noodles a few times. Easy to slurp down. I don't have enough confidence to eat out except when i'm sure the food i'm about to partake is soft and won't leave me having to worry if i'd make a mess of it or not. :)

Food for the toothless

Tofu sprinkled with preserved radish

Steamed Tilapia ala Tom Yam

These two delicious dishes that don't need much chewing I had at Restoran Sedap at Hilltop. A very dear friend of mine treated me to this sumptuous lunch. No rib-eye steaks yet but these are just fine.

Extended leave..

The OS gave me 2 more weeks of medical leave. (relief...) Friends at work think I had a beauty make-over or something. Am sort of glad I won't have to go to work so soon and disappoint (or gladden) some enquiring minds. Anyway, can't really talk as much as my work requires me to. Then there's food issue.. What to eat aa.. where to eat..

say aaa...

My dad cooked some Tilapia dish on saturday. Small sized they were but delicious none the same. Went to my grandma's yesterday after calling her and asking whether she had Tilapia or not. She didn't recognize my voice! Maybe I sounded different than the times I had my teeth wired. Anyway, she said she had some fish. Two hours later I was at her place and the Tilapias were ready for eating!! I ate three ikur of delicious fish.. Next week datang lagi..

5 weeks post op

Technically it was yesterday. The 5th week, i mean. Haven't gained back the weight I lost after going through 4 weeks of being wired. I don't feel like eating. I feel like it's such tedious work. I knowla i have to eat. i don't mind drinking my Ensure. But it can fill me up for 2-3 hours only. The other day I was at a camp and this friend whom i haven't seen in months gestured me over and asked why i looked plump. Umm... I was in uniform then, the uniform hid my body frame. i guess he mistook my swollen face for being plump.

My ortho put me on elastics to stabilize my upper and lower teeth alignment (i think that's what she said.) if the offending molar on my upper right won't shift back to position, it might have to go.. Sigh.. but it won't be pulled out until i can open my mouth wider.

Ability to open mouth : 1 finger's breadth (still)
eye : left eye still can't close properly. tho if forcefully done, i can fully close it now.
teeth : lower front teeth aren't as tender to touch as last week. upper front teeth feels better than lower.

My left cheek used to be more rounded than my right. Now, my left cheek is just this mass of swollen skin. Ooyee...

Pop goes the weasel

I had actually tapau-ed the steamed fish because we couldn't finish it at the restaurant. So, that late afternoon, i had another go at the fish. This time I had it with a half-boiled egg. While maneuvering the fish and the egg around my palate, I heard a soft popping sound. After a while i began to really notice the sound. The pop- pop sound came when I was trying to make chewing motion with my jaws. I can't really chew yet so I was sort of practicing the movement. The sound came from my left jaw. Hm...

I had maggi for breakfast this morning. Huh.. it's not exactly nutritious but it's just something different. I could hear the soft 'popping' sound again.

Movements:
Eyebrow : minute creasing on immobile left
eye : inability to fully close left eye still. still practicing forcefull closure
nose : left nostril still unable to kembang :) heheh
cheek : slight pain when the spot next to the left nostril is pressed. left cheek not as rounded as right. palsy effect still around.
lip : lower left quadrant still numb. so's the gingiva (gums) If not careful, drooling happens..
chin : numb. tingling and sometimes an itchy sensation occurs, though when I put my hand up to scratch the itch, i can't feel a thing.
smile : still lopsided. If I do laugh, my right eye would become a mere slit while the left remain rounded (very eery... i think). However, there is a slight improvement with the crease of the smile on my left.

I'm free!!

It took two docs and a male nurse about 1 hour to clip off all the wires, eyelets in my mouth. I know it would be almost painless elsewhere to have this procedure done, but my heart felt as if it was nearly yanked out of my mouth.. many a times. The doc asked whether I wanted an LA, local anaesthetic but I opted for the spray only.

The occlusion isn't satisfactory said my OS after the two young docs finished what they were assigned to do. I think so too. The premolar and the last molar of my upper right seem to not mesh well with the bottom teeth. Those are some of the things my ortho doc will have to figure out how to fix.

And yes... had steamed fish and some braised tofu for lunch. It didn't matter I could only open about a finger's breadth of my mouth. I mashed the tofu and fish with the back of the spoon and gingerly pushed it between my teeth. Oih... delish...

And just now I could drink in gulps (not sips) the plain water I had poured into the tupperware tumbler.

Tomorrow's the day

Tomorrow will be exactly 4 weeks since the BSSO( Bilateral split sagital osteotomy). I'll bedewired! That's a welcome thought. Means i'll be able to eat, even thought that means soft diet still. At least i'll be eating, not drinking. However, i am dreading the process of taking off the surgical hooks. If having the wires stitched into my gums was quite the ordeal, i hope them being taken off will be only half the pain. I sometimes wonder where my threshold for pain come from.. really sears/serates through the heart.. the pain does...

I am still at 52.5kg. I take vitamins and supplements every morning. I've not beeen taking painkillers for 1 week now. I haven't had a migraine in more than 4 weeks (knock wood).

I will have my splint out also tomorrow. Aaggh... the slime that i can almost taste from within this enclosure of teeth. This tongue that feels almost furry with 1 month accumulated gunk from milk, porridge, eggs, needs a good scraping and cleaning.

My visit to the eye clinic on Tuesday was as expected. Appointment at 10am. Came at 9.30am. My turn only came at near 12pm. How prosaic. Jejune day it was not. Had a book to accompany me. Schindler's List.

Pakar mata and Head of the Eye Dept, Dr. Shuaibah checked me eye, flashed some light on both eyes, interviewed me some, enlightened me some. All seem not to be too bad. out of the 12 facial nerves, nerve 5 could've been affected due to the surgery. She can't be sure how severe the injury is but 'insyaAllah... it will heal tho it will take time'. Sigh. She recommended eye-lid exercise. Prescribed me some vitamins to help with the nerve recuperation and and also for some eyedrops.

Sigh.

I'm still lopsided on the left side of the face. So's the smile.

Big Changes?

Okay. I have permitted myself to post these before and after pics of my profiles.

This is the current me. Something that saddens me is the condition of the left side of my face. My OSs told me that my surgery was quite the ordeal because my bones were quite dense and it took them a bit more effort on the left side of my mandible. As an unfortunate result, the nerves were jarred. My orthodontist calls it palsy. Sigh...sounds so disfiguring. That's why the left looks droopy. I can only raise my right eyebrow and look very much like Ziana Zain making eye-contacts with the audience. The left eye-brow remains static where it is. This may sound funny but i can only 'inflate' my right nose.. hahaha.. i showed it to my brother and he giggled. Still.. i'll try to think positive and hope that the nerves will come back to life slowly.

Counting...

Had another review with the OS just now. She poked here and there asking me if I could feel the pokes or not. As usual, a horde of other docs wearing masks were right there witnessing ( i didn't use the word learning..since none of them were holding any notebooks or pens.. just looked slightly interested) the poking. Oh well..

She pronounced that I will be de-wired on the 5th. That's... 9 more days. Sigh...
She also mentioned that the one of the plates on my left will be removed. ooer.. can't say i'm looking forward to that ordeal. That means my gums will be sliced open again.

Day 11 post-wired

I would really use a full body massage now. But the thought of having to lie facedown for an hour or so isn't very appealing. I wonder if there's a back massage with you sitting down?
My chin tingles so much it almost drives me nuts.
I'm still worried about this left eye not being able close properly.

Yesterday I made some simple fish soup. Blendered the isi ikan and diluted them with the soup stock. Looked like some mashed up gray-colored paper. I thought the soup would go in and out easily through the syringe and into my tightly wedged teeth... Not really.
had to make some sucking motion to clear the debris of the fish sediments before I could down the soup. Nasib the soup was sedap... made the effort through 3 small bowls of soup. I was reminded that the soup looked like the laksa soup except that it wasn't spicy.

Finally had a cup of Red-Guara Coffee after almost two weeks going without coffee... what a difference from a morning of Ensure Choc flavor..

Last night I went out and bought some pudding from Yoyo. haha... managed to order without having too much difficulty. It was good that they had the order form to complete. Just tick what you would have. The idiot in the counter still asked something like if I wanted to drink in or take away.. D-uh? I mumbled/garbled/ lisped/goobled 'taaaapaaauu'... and sounded like a monster roaring for the villagers to run away. He coudn't understand. So, I wrote 'tapau' on the form. The girl on the cash register registered the info. Sigh..

My syringe, the mango pudding from Yoyo
sluurrrpp...

X-Ray before and after Op

Before

After.

My left jaw has two plates. I can feel the outline when i trace them with my fingers.. I thought at first my jaw was wrongly set..

Just before Op

A few days ago.. umm.. still swollen on the left side

tingly jaw

Yesterday I mashed the bubur ayam my dad made. Mashed about a bowl of it and used the syringe to suck them in and squirt slowly into mouth. Sadapnya.
Later when mum came back, did the same for the KFC mashed potato. Sadap as well.
Let's see.. had some pudding via the syringe. some calci-yumm yoghurt. Sigh... the tummy wants to eat a lot, but the mouth tires of the effort. Furthermore there's this sharp wire poking from inside the wired mouth and my tongue is really being punctured here and there I think. It has only been 8 days.
I haven't gotten tired of Ensure. I just got tired of vanilla flavored Ensure though. Thank goodness there's chocolate and strawberry flavor.
My chin is tingly!!!! It's sort of annoying and irritating sometimes. You know the feeling your legs get when their asleep after being in an unconfortable situation for sometime and then they're all numb and starts to get tingly to get 'alive'?.. that's what how my chin feels like.. sometimes they go on and on and on...
my left eye still cannot close properly..

Went for a review again today. had a mouth cleaning done. had x-rays done.
next appointment is next week.

Day 6

Starting from today, i will refer the days based on how many days i've been wired. Hence, day 6. Woke up feeling face feeling bloated and so full of fluid. Retaining fluid inside my pundi kencing all night made going to the toilet long.

Last night, i kept myself occupied playing computer games. The broadband connection here is not really good so i think i will try to post on mornings.. till i get back to Sierra of course. Reading about others who had gone through this op is good. One tip i'd like to take is to go for short walks just to take out the toxin off the body. But umm.. i look a bit lop-sided for don't know reason.. nanti takajut the orang2 sekeliling.

Randomly me

This was when i was still at SMC. The gauze in my mouth was to soak up saliva.. the towel under my chin is to soak up any uncontrolled dribble...

Now this.. already at Female Surgical Extension Ward QEH. Very shiny lips.. Liberally applied them with lip ice and Chloramphenicol (CMC). The tube into the nose was a nuisance albeit necessary.. My feeding line..

Can you p-o-u-t...?

notice the wrinkly chin..


What's that on my hand? the blood, the whatever liquid that oozed out off my left cheek..

Puffffferrr

It's been the 8th day post-op. 5th day post-wired. My face is still bloated sebelah kiri mostly. I still can't close my left eye properly. Have to use eye-drops once in a while to lubricate it. My mouth is still a bit askewed to the right when i sip. I still feel a tonne of numbness on my cheeks. My chin is still tingly. My lips are healing well from all the stretching done during op. They were awful to look at the first few days. Kasian my lips..

Went driving yesterday with a mouthmask( is that the term used?) and went in ChuaKahSeng Supermarket. Bought two Ensures, choc and strawberry flavor, some heintz baby food...some carrot juice.. some glucolin to make energy drinks into..
Last night my bro n sis made me watermelon juice, slurped 2 glasses of the juice..sadapnya..

I get easily hungry. Thank goodness I'm not craving for solid food.. yet.
My sis and her fiance went out with me mum n bro for the wedding photoshoot. I asked them to buy some Yoyo drinks, lots of puddings, some more juices...

home

After 8 days being cooped up in the hospital, i am finally discharged.
8 days of minum susu ensure only. Eating plain rice porridge with chicken soup (the grain mashed of course) was so delicious.. Now I understand how it is eating through a syringe.. i had actually used a straw to suck in the orangey-colored bubur.. then i remembered the syringe.. whooyoo...
then it was half-boiled eggs through straw... also sedap..
then when i almost was finishing the eggs, i felt a mild sense of nausea... not good dis.. with teeth wired shut...nausea is a no no..
got to get a hang of it.. this eating through a syringe thingy..
anyway..
glad to be home..
glad me mum was around to help.

6th day post-op

Remind myself to remind myself... (very austin power-like) that all the blog-posts i read concerning jaw surgery will not really be as luxurious as how I recuperate from this op. Not in the US of A, or Canada or where any other western country..
This is in Sabah, Malaysia. and recuperating in a government hospital isn't very comfortable but.. ok la..bagus already dis.. nasib ada..(the forever positive thinking of malaysians).

Ok.
My feeding regime is to have 200ml of water to every 3-half scoops of ensure, every 3 hours. I was nodding off when my alarm clock beeped at 3 am this morning. But woke up I did. Fed myself through the tubes. The other patients were making sick noises of their own. Let's see, it has been 9 days being away from my own bed. Can't miss that.

After the feed, I went back to sleep. Woke up sometime before 6am when me mum came round. My face felt more bloated than ever with a firm and insistant throbbing of pain coming from my gums and general jaw area..
Still feeling numb on the lower part of my face. still feel like a chipmunk, like as if i have something tucked and hidden in insides the cheeks for future references for chewing purposes. The lower lips gets tingly once in a while.

Mum fed me with the crushed painkillers.. plain panadol with celebrex.
Kena tebuk lagi my right hand for the i.v. drip.
I have another review with the doc later in the day to remove the janggut-like sutures on the sides of my face.
Good news. My sis is coming from Labuan to take care of me for a few days. Raay!!

the vein where the iv tube on my left hand was in swelled up last night so it was discontinued.. quite a tricky bisnes going to the loo with an iv drip in your hand oo..

my new iv tube..'installed' this morning. pink means..2nd or 3rd largest needle..

Operation Obelina

Punya bangkak itu bibir...

The small yellow tube is for the drainage of any liquids from the op

So..

i've had the operation!
Came quite a surprise. I was just waiting for the 15th to come but the date came a week earlier.
Received an SMS from nurse Maslaan asking me to call the dental specialist as it was urgent and that there's an opening for op 'tomorrow'. That was on the 7th on last week.
I was all kelam kabut want to urus this and that. The nurse said I had to go down for a blood test then and there. Oh well..
I managed to inform me mum.
I had me surgical hooks in (didn't think it would be umm.. painful)
Checked into SMC. Nice... had visit from my partner.
Mike Lima and Lima Mike came to cheer me up.. still in their baju kerja. SOooo sweet of them.
Had the i.v. drips punya tubes inserted into me.
Had a visit from the attending anastethetist. some Q n A.

8th may.
My operation day.
The nurse asked me to get prepared and wear the surgical dress.
By 8 am I was already wheeled into the OT. All naked under the sheets... tidak paduli suda. When I saw the mask being lowered onto my face.. i thought. This is it. And went into deep sleep.
I didn't know it but the surgery took a long time. By 8pm i think.. baru i came to and felt myself being wheeled into a room. Felt the pain hit. Saw me mum and slipped into deep sleep again.

Ahahah.. for those of you who don't know who Obelina is...

Ta-daaa... a cute monster with big lips (from Nickelodeon's Aahh Real Monster cartoon).

O'rings gone, wire in

Had an appointment at Luyang Clinic today at 2.15pm. I arrived early to hopefully get a parking right in front of the building. I got one. Yay! It was still lunchtime so I walked across the street to get some lunch from one of the Kedai makan there. Food wasn't so nice actually but on an empty stomach, anything is edible.

My appointment was supposed to be at 2.15pm but my number was called sometime around 2.05pm. I went in and saw the new doctor. Umm... ok.

I am supposed to have another impression done on my teeth today. So I confirmed that with the doctor. I gently (I was tempted to just bark out the order..she sounded too uninformed) said that Doc Devi would take out the o'rings and archwire before making an impression. The new doc consulted the nurses whether that was the usual procedure and thank goodness they said yes. So, after a while, she proceeded to take out the o'rings.
I have to say, she has this annoying habit of clicking her tongue and suddenly humming unidentifiable songs when the going gets tough for her. It happens quite often too. As she was trying to ease out the archwires from the back of my upper molars, she 'tsk'ed and lapsed into her brief hummings and saying things like.. ' susa la..' D-uh..
Sigh.. to not be discouraged by all these.. I will not divulge so much anxiety over this doc's inexperience.. After all, it's the surgery that's going to be important.. kan?

So, had my impressions done, had the archwires replaced, had wire ligatures instead of o'rings wound around the brackets, and had a brief q & A with Doc Fatimah.
I have another appointment with her next week for a 'wafer' session with her. And if my surgery date is confirmed by 12th next week, she'll be putting in the surgery hooks. She will have some discussion with the two oral surgeons who are going to perform the surgery on me. And my length of time being warded in SMC depends on the progress of my healing. I'd probably be out on MC for about 3-4 weeks... Umm...
Crossing my fingers and toes again.. I'm excited and half anxious about this surgery but one thing's for sure, I want to get through this.

Bummer

Had a joint-clinic session yesterday at the Queen Elizabeth Hosp.

Sigghhhh...

They put your hopes up by giving you a date for the op

then dash them by saying be ready for possible postponement...

it's such torture.

Found out some more that I'd be warded for close to two weeks at SMC.

Hmm... two weeks?

What am I going to do for two weeks?

How would I successfully occupy myself for the two weeks?

I'll be going for another dental appointment at the Luyang Clinic next Tuesday

to have my latest dental impressions done.

Looking back

Having time in mine hands, and having an internet connection led me to so many other blogs concerning jaw surgery and I particularly found Jannie's blogs interesting as I feel that what I am going through is almost similar.. If there is not going to be any changes to the date of surgery, I'll be having mine in about 19 days.

I should have made this blog a long time ago but pride kept me back. Sure, we ourselves are the worst critics and I am no better. Having the set of teeth that I have was one of many reasons why I had low esteem all these years. I made sure I was healthy, made sure I was fit, but if you THINK you haven't got a good smile, then babe.. you're not there.

That's why I am so glad my journey of being encased in these metal brackets is nearing completion. I am curious as to how I would look having a normal jaw, a 'normal' bite, a normal smile ..no.. a brilliant smile, and many more.

It's also ironic that the nearer I'm getting my jaw surgery done, the less worry I have of being photographed in 'awkward' poses. For example being taken from the side or having my profile taken.. My lower lip juts so far out you could rest a tray of drinks on them! I've come so far.. I've even planned to do something to my hair once I recover from the surgery.

I also should have posted 'before' pics of my teeth earlier.. not only for the benefit of others who suffer from this kind of malocclusion and crowding of teeth but also for myself.

First day wearing braces.. 13thOct2005

I was all smiles..excited but in pain actually. I kept wanting to trace the brackets and the back of my teeth with my tongue (which the doctor didn't encourage).

Sometime in Dec 2005 (2 months after)

I figured since I was going to be in braces a long time, I might as well enjoy the multi-colored o'rings available. This time I chose blue.


Oh..nothing to do with the braces.. just this phase I went through of removing the 130 moles (!!) I had on my face. Oh heck, said I, pain in the mouth, what're pain on the face, eh?

Will post some more later on.

Orthognathically Me

What is Orthognathic Surgery?

Orthognathic surgery is sometimes called "Surgical Orthodontics" because, just as an orthodontist repositions teeth, an oral and maxillofacial surgeon uses orthognathic surgery to reposition one or both jaws. Just as "orthodontics" means "straight teeth", "orthognathic" means "straight jaws". In fact, because moving the jaws also moves the teeth, orthognathic surgery is usually performed in conjunction with orthodontics so that the teeth are in proper position after surgery. The objective of orthognathic surgery is the correction of a wide range of minor and major facial and jaw irregularities, and benefits include an improved ability to chew, speak and breathe. In many cases an enhanced appearance can also result.
Who needs orthognathic surgery?

People who can potentially benefit from orthognathic surgery include those with an improper bite and those with jaws that are positioned incorrectly. Jaw growth is a slow and gradual process, and in some instances, the upper and lower jaws may grow at different rates. The result can be a host of problem that can affect chewing function, speech, long-term oral health, and appearance. Injury to the jaw and birth defects can also affect jaw alignment. While orthodontics alone can correct many "bite" problems if only the teeth are involved, orthognathic surgery may be required if the jaws also need repositioning.
The following are some of the conditions that may indicate a need for orthognathic surgery:

difficulty chewing or biting into food
difficulty swallowing
speech problems
chronic jaw pain
excessive wearing of teeth
open bite (space between upper and lower front or back teeth when mouth is closed)
unbalanced facial appearance
facial injury or birth defects
receding chin
protruding jaw
inability to make lips meet without effort
chronic mouth breathing with dry mouth
sleep apnea (breathing problems when sleeping such as snoring)

Unequal growth of the jaws, injury or birth defects can produce problems and symptoms that require treatment by a team that usually includes an oral and maxillofacial surgeon, and orthodontist, and sometimes your dentist. In order to determine if you are a candidate for orthognathic surgery, and evaluation of your condition by this team in necessary.
Phases of Orthognathic Surgery
Pre-Surgical OrthodonticsIn many cases pre-surgical orthodontic is necessary to move your teeth into a new position prior to your surgery. During you surgery, adjustments will be made to your jaw to reposition them so that they fit together properly. Because your teeth are moved into a position that will be correct after surgery, you may think that your bite is getting worse rather than better during this phase of treatment. If you still have your wisdom teeth or other crowding, it may be necessary to remove certain teeth prior to beginning orthodontic treatment in order to make space for proper tooth movement.

Pre-Surgical Records

As your pre-surgical orthodontic treatment nears completion, an appointment with your doctor will be necessary to make final preparations for the surgical procedure. Additional records will be taken. Your dentist will look at your models and the most recent x-rays of your teeth and jaws to "simulate" surgery in order to finalize the surgical movements of your jaws. In other words, he will be doing a several mock surgeries on paper as well as models to insure that his predictions will give you the optimum final results.

Preparing For Surgery

You will be seen one more time in his office prior to your surgery. At this appointment he will do a history and physical as is required by the hospital before admission. The doctor will review your most recent health information and collect basic data about your current physical health. Orders for any tests that may be necessary prior to surgery are written up and a surgical consent form is signed. You will receive a packet of information that you will take with you to the hospital upon admission. In most cases, you will check into the hospital on the day of your surgery. Your anesthesiologist will discuss the general anesthetic procedure to be used. In addition to the general anesthesia that is given to "put you to sleep" you will be receiving intravenous fluids and medication to prevent dehydration and infection, and to minimize pain and swelling. It is very important that you adhere to any medication schedule or diet prescribed by your surgeon.

The Surgical Procedure

The orthognathic surgery itself will several hours depending on the amount and type of surgery needed. Certain movement may require the jaws to be separated into several parts, with bone added or removed to achieve the proper alignment and stability. Other facial bones that contribute to the imbalance may also be repositions, augmented, or reduced in size. For the majority of orthognathic cases, incisions are made inside the mouth and there will be no visible external scars. If there is a need to make any external incisions, care is taken to conceal the incisions in the natural skin creases.
The most common types of procedures used are:

Mandibular Osteotomy -(Also called a Mandibular Split) -

Allows for moving the lower jaw back or forwards to create a more stable bite and improve esthetics. This procedure can also be used to rotate the jaw if necessary.
Maxillary Le Fort Osteotomy -

Allows for repositioning of the upper jaw (maxilla). The jaw can be cut into pieces, if necessary, to reposition bony segments in their most ideal positions.

Another frequent procedure is a Genioplasty. A genioplasty can be used for repositioning the chin for a better esthetic result. It can be performed as a separate procedure, or can be performed at the time of your orthognathic surgery

Immediately Following Surgery

Immediately after surgery you will be moved to the recovery room until the general anesthesia has worn off. Your family may not be allowed in the recovery room, but they should be able to visit you shortly thereafter. An IV will be attached to your arm to provide required medications and nutrients until you are able to take sufficient liquids by mouth. Medications may be administered to control post-surgical discomfort.
The length of stay in the hospital can be one or more days. You can expect temporary swelling, especially of the lips and cheeks. Bruising may also result. These conditions are a part of your bodies normal healing response and should disappear during your initial recovery time.
To aid in healing, your jaws may need to be prevented from moving. This is done with the use of fixation appliances. In many cases the jaw sections are held together during the healing period by small screws placed by your doctor. In other cases wires are used to hold the bones together and keep the jaws from moving.
While your jaws are in fixation and healing, you will need to consume a liquid diet. Some weight loss may occur during this time but can be regained after the fixation period is over. During the first week after surgery your diet is extremely important. If necessary, you may need to supplement your diet with liquid vitamins or diet supplement drinks (example would be Ensure). A blender can be used to liquefy almost any food to provide a balanced diet.
Smoking is highly discouraged post-operatively for any surgical procedure, but especially following orthognathic surgery. Smoking can unnecessarily inhibit the healing process. Strenuous activities should be avoided during the first few post operative weeks.

During Healing

When you leave the hospital you should be able to return to work or school as soon as you feel like it. Most patients are back to their normal routine within 2 weeks. Your appearance may have changed somewhat due to the repositioning of your jaws and associated swelling. Friends and family may show signs of surprise, but it won't take long for them to adjust to the new you.
You will see your oral surgeon and your Orthodontist for regular evaluation visits. It is extremely important that these appointments are made in a timely manner and kept. The doctor will monitor your healing which will allow him to determine the appropriate time to remove any fixation devices that may have been used.
The initial healing process will take approximately 6 weeks. The compete healing process may take anywhere from 9 to 12 months. It is important to maintain a high level of oral hygiene during the entire healing process.
The Orthodontist will usually begin the post-surgical phase of orthodontic treatment 4 to 8 weeks after surgery to make any minor adjustments to your bite that may be necessary. IN most cases braces are removed within 6 to 12 months following surgery.

Drumroll

Golly..
So!!!
Dr. Normah says I am tentatively scheduled for surgery on the 15th of May.
I will have a joint clinic on the 29th. And on the 29th I am to bring with me 2 sets of x-rays of the parts of the dentistry that will be going through alteration, and also RM500 for the metal plates and screws.
Dr. Normah explained a bit on how the procedure's going to be like. This and that and this and some more of that... I told her later that I had been watching lots of youtubes and read sites about jaw surgery and I pretty much know what's going to happen. I am just so there..

I later had another mould of my teeth taken by Dr. Mohd Azmi... Mcm mau tecabut my teeth too.
anyway.. here's hoping that the surgery will happen as planned.

skippety skip

''Hello, boleh bercakap dengan Cik natalie?"

"Iya.. bercakap."

"Selamat pagi. Ini Mazlan dari Pakar pergigian Hospital Queen Elizabeth ya."

"Oh.. Hospital Queen? Ada apa itu aa?" ( my heart made a leap! this could be it!)

" Iya. Kami mau buat appointment untuk cik."

"Oo. (Yahoooooo..).. Bila mau buat appointment tu?"

" Esok 23 hb April. pukul 8.30 pagi. Di Bangunan baru, di aras 2."

"Besok? "

Skippety skip!!! Hoppity Hop!!
The call came just minutes after I had posted the blog earlier. Guess the stars are shining down on me. Rolling... the ball is rolling...

what next?

Ooo kay...
A stroke of good luck! I said to myself as I hurriedly closed down the lid of my laptop. I had not been waiting 15 minutes when my number was called. I had just turned on my internet connection and was preparing to blog, you see. Normally, I'd be waiting for 30-45 minutes or more before my turn came up.

Uh huu... what happened? I sat on the dentist' chair and waited... for an obviously new ortho dentist. Later on I found out that she transferred from Ranau to replace Dr.Alvera who is now in UK to continue her post-graduate studies. When she comes back in 4 years time, she'll be a specialist. Oh joy.. can't wait. (hehe)

So, I was the guinea piggy for the new ortho dentist.. She was hesitant, unsure of how to connect the powerchain from one hook to another. Golly, she even asked the nurse to help her retract my cheek so that my teeth and gums would be better exposed. I tell you... never have I felt so... so.. my cheeks deliberately pinched.. the doc telling the male nurse to hold on to the mosquito.. don't let go aa.. ok.. hold this.. this way... don't move.. Huh.. it was almost comical..
She was literally wiping her brow after the ordeal.

Anyway.. I was hoping to ask Dr. Fatimah some questions and when she came over to ask me how I was doing. I said, ok.. but impatient.

So.. Dr. Normah the oral surgeon has put my name on the list for the surgery which hooooopefully (cross my fingers and my toes) will be soon. There are about 4 cancer patients on the list before me. Of course they must come before me as their cases are much more dire and crucial compared to mine. The thing now is.. my surgery will probably take more than 5 hours and OT time allocated is only around 4-5 hours (so the doc said). The departments are taking turns using the OT it seems. Sigh..

1 hour later or so.. i was out, with new o-rings. Dark green. My next appointment will be on the 9th of June 2009.

Before appointment

Do i look tired? Am still wearing baju kurung ni.. just after work.

Ate some chocolate cakes just before getting off the car. Hungry. Brushed my teeth with the toothbrush I always carry in my bag.

Appointment again..

Let's see...

It's now april.. and this is going to be only the 3rd time this year i'm visiting the dentist. Government... dare i complain? I should be getting these braces off by this time had i done that surgery last year november!
It has been a long wait..it has.
And this afternoon... i will be going to the Klinik Kesihatan Luyang for the 3rd checkup of the year!.. only the 3rd.. and i wonder what news mine ears will be hearing..
dare i (again) hope?
* oo.. we still haven't got news from the OT department... i think you still have to wait la aa...
*oo... the hospital hasn't given positive respond to our many requests... you are lucky.. some other critical patients still are yet to be operated... be patient la a..
* oo... no news yet la...
* oo.. next week, are you free for the operation?
Hahahaahahaha.. if the answer would be like the last option above, I would be the jolliest of the jolly-wannabe depression-induced-by-nonexistant-treatment lady.

Momom

Ate half a bar of Kit Kat just now. I shouldn't be eating this kind of sweet stuff but ...sigh... That's why I stopped halfway. I could feel some of the chocolaty goodness easing their way into the nook and crannies of my teeth, the braces and the powerchain (the tiny rubber bands tied on some of my molars).

On some days I can't chew on meat properly even though the lambchop may be so sedap... or the chicken wings are crunchy yet tasty.. as the meat.. as tiny morsels as they may be.. will somehow get tightly wedged between the teeth. My doc would say.. dental hygene... you must clean your teeth properly..

Iya ba... but there will be days when I go off to Kem and that would mean a less regard for all things personal...

This crabbing isn't meant to deter people away from wearing braces though. I just feel frustrated. I'm starting to feel that these braces ought to be on their way to the bins or recycled or donated to the third world for better use..by now.